Numbers and/or Hips

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The Top 40 Pop/Dance Starlet Stats: Pitchfork edition

Rihanna

Young, attractive R&B/dance-pop singer with savvy choices in production talent [Neptunes, Timbaland, etc.]

Number of Rihanna albums reviewed by Pitchfork: 5

Average rating: 6.3

Highest: 7.6

Lowest: 4.5

 

Britney Spears
Young, attractive dance-pop/R&B singer with savvy choices in production talent [Neptunes, Timbaland, etc.]

Number of Britney Spears albums reviewed by Pitchfork: 0

 

Ariana Grande
Former children’s sitcom actress turned dance-pop music and video starlet

Number of Ariana Grande albums reviewed by Pitchfork: 2

The first one, in which we establish a Nickelodeon alumnus as a viable commercial/critical presence: 6.5

The new one, which features a host of Pitchfork-friendly collaborators: 7.7

 

Miley Cyrus
Former children’s sitcom actress turned dance-pop music and video starlet

Number of Miley Cyrus albums reviewed by Pitchfork: 0

 

Final Tally: Pitchfork
In which the numbers all add up to something

Selective application of vaguely-defined “poptimism”: check

Aesthetic integrity and/or clarity of mission or critical perspective: n/a

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