An Israeli landlord who “invented” lavash flatbread? Met him. A M*A*S*H star’s granddaughter’s peer counselor, packing up the crap she left behind in their shared apartment? High five.
A new boss, brimming with (literally) hours of tales from the mid-life online dating scene? I have shared his journey. Feisty, testy, cranky recent divorcees? They are our people, here. Fat camp + yoga pants? Oh, we got that. Awesomely “empowered”-slash-dreadlocked twentysomething white girls, belting out “Get Up, Stand Up,” as though it had been written for (I daresay even by) them? Ah, this scar is particularly fresh.
A huge room—formerly a chapel—filled with housewives and future housewives of all ages (and the odd* guy), dancing and shaking what their mamas gave them, to the tunes of hott dance traxx and radio-friendly gangsta rap, as though they were “in da club,” rather than at a retreat center, for which they have paid (literally) exponentially more money than the cost of a drink at any given night spot where this music is regularly played for free?
Mermaids who walk among us, on the legs of humans?
Employed, professional adults who can’t come in to work when Mercury is in retrograde?
Avowed, committed vegans who staunchly refuse to eat animal products of any kind, unless they’re placed directly in front of them (or, you know, on a plate in the room)?
The scrawl of a child’s desperate plea, “Helo hamburger,” in Crayola marker on mural paper?
I have seen these sights, my friends. I have seen them and so, so much more.
Pause.
Breathe deep.
Find your center. Awareness without judgment. Feel the universe in its infinite benevolence and love for your perfect self at this moment. You are the ultimate expression of your potential.
Exhale.
“I like that painting, but the only place we could really put it is the yurt.”
It’s all here. It’s all here. It’s all happening.
* yeah, fairly odd, all things considered
yeah, i got .com 