Hold back the tears.

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Okay, Mr. Moroder, here’s the deal. The song is for a TV show. Main character in this episode is a young, starry-eyed wannabe pop starlet. Name’s Suzi or Cyndi or something. She’s working the LA club circuit. She’s got looks, she’s got talent—but she just can’t catch a break.

Anyhow, the song’s gonna be performed by Pat Benatar. I know, right? And get this—her backing band is Mr. Mister. They play the song in the final climax scene, where Suzi finally gets her big break opening for Pat on the same night she has to make the payoff to the mob to get her uncle Carl back. But the mob doesn’t know that Suzi found out they were gonna double-cross her, and she’s hired the A-Team to—hang on. Is it the A-Team or Knight Rider?

—Honey, can you get me Sheldon on the phone? Ask him if the song deal is for the Hasslehoff thing or the one with the mohawk guy from Rocky. Thanks, sweetheart.

Sorry about that. Anyway, so: There we are. What do you think, Giorgio—can you write this song?

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Le Babar en la chambre: Daft Punk bit Chromeo.

I’ve been meaning to bring this up, because I’m out in the wilderness at the moment and there aren’t that many people I can really run this by, but for real: Doesn’t the song, “Fragments of Time,” from the new Daft Punk album, sound a hell of a lot like that Chromeo + Vampire Weekend Guy track that came out along with Business Casual…? Am I the first person to ask about this? Sure, I am a little tipsy right now, but come on; it hit me “like whoa” the first time I heard it. I can’t be the only one, right?

And while we’re on the topic: I ain’t hating, but damn; how many years and millions of dollars did this new Daft Punk album take to make—while Chromeo (and various others) somehow manage to pop out sharp, sweet, well-crafted and well-produced synth-pop with only like a year or two between albums? Just sayin’s. I love Nile Rodgers and Giorgio Moroder—seriously, I do, and my hat is off to those “off the wall” Frenchbots for enlisting them—but those dudes were not only good at making good pop music; they made solid names for themselves back in the seventies because they were good at getting the shit done and putting it out like it was pop music and not the second coming of pop French art Jesus or whatever.

And on that note, I bid you good gin. Oops, sorry—good evengin.